He swept you off your feet, romanced you and made you feel like his Queen. Granted, he began the fling with an honest confession you chose to ignore, “I’m trouble. Can you handle that?” Of course you said yes…You wanted fun and finally had someone to blame for the bad deeds!
Not surprisingly, the brilliance dwindled and he swept you under the rug, ignored you and made you feel like an idiot. Like most girls though, your heart continues to foster the feelings that sprouted at the beginning and you want him around because the two of you have a friken blast together!
But do you understand that his existence depended on your ability to strangle your emotions? Probably not, we never do…This means one thing- ripping out your heart and coveting him as a NON-significant other for the sake of fun…
Follow these not-so-simple reminders of reality and clutch your heart in your fist my sweet dear, and yank it out before he does it for you:
“If You Want Me, Come and Get Me”
Don’t ignore the obvious signs that this person only wants you for one reason. If he isn’t making plans in advance, and only inviting you over for a boomboom, then the chances are his half-hearted invites do not derive from an emotional pulse!!! Out of respect to your heart, understand full-heartedly that his heart’s involvement dissipated along with his initial chivalry. Yah, you like this person…being with him, seeing him, laughing with him, cuddling with him, listening to him sing silly songs about the benefits of drinking water, EVERY SECOND OF IT….but only…ONLY when you are with him. PHYSICALLY WITH HIM.
Remind yourself: His heart is out…keep my heart out…why waste energy alone, thinking of “what could be” when I can save it up for the fun times with him. Don’t use my energy setting up a lala fantasy, when it will ultimately cause hurt.
“It Takes Two to Tango”
A tango is a dance…a very sexy dance between two people engrossed in seduction, sultry music and barely any clothing. When the music ends, the two walk off together, leaving neither behind. Imagine if you stood alone on the dance floor, sullen, head down, waiting for the music to start again without a partner…While your partner walked off– head up, proud and satisfied, knowing that “it is only a dance.”
Remind Yourself: If he is only in for the dance, then you shall only dance. Don’t be left on the dance floor alone, it’s embarrassing and scores you zero points.
“The best way to get over someone is to get under someone new”:
Take this literally, if it helps the carnage. Otherwise, if you maintain a prude morale, force yourself to preserve other leads by responding to their texts/calls, accepting an invite to a date, and spending time with other fun people that make you laugh (even if none make you laugh “like him.”) Hold your head up in the grocery store and make eye contact with other prospects. Flirt, laugh and converse with anyone and everyone so that your focus isn’t desperately seeking attention from your careless “fun one.”
Remind yourself: Other people exist who can entertain and make me giddy.
“A Watched Pot Never Boils”
Same is true for a phone! Test out the theory…Stare at your phone! It won’t ring!
Emotionally and physically wondering, wandering, tracing and pacing whether or not this person will contact you is a pathetic state of being, isn’t it? I urge you to become conscious of the times you think about texting him or why he hasn’t texted you- if you catch yourself in a trance mustering up anger from a blank phone, think of someone positive and text him/her, friend/family member. This will become a regular occurrence and you will start reconnecting with people from the past. Soon, you will build friendships you forgot you had.
Remind yourself: It is NOT him texting me every time my phone chimes. His heart isn’t pitter-patting with anticipation with every text notification, so why is mine?
“Carry On Your Wayward Son”
“There will be peace when you are gone”…If someone tells you, “I’m trouble,” or “I’m not looking for a relationship” than that person is CLEARLY wayward with 99 problems that does not include you. Transform heart flutters into excitement elsewhere, (depending on the foundation of this fling, that may mean your groin region). Do NOT get excited about thoughts of the future, because a future with this person most likely doesn’t exist. Rip the word out of your repertoire along with your beating heart.
Remind yourself: Get excited in the presence of him…Live in the moment.
The Bottom Line: Don’t feel like crap all the time over the inner turmoil of your emotional flurry. Letting someone control your emotions based off a situation in your head that does not exist is a sad and lonely thing. When you finally disconnect your worries and stop swaying on the rocking chair, he will simply become your guilty pleasure and you will strut again, not for him but for the world.
The next text invite that thoughtlessly enters your inbox, think “heck, why not! I’ll have a fun time and new memories!!!” And no longer will you think, “Of course. Yes! I hope he asks me to be his girlfriend!! WOOOHOO!”
Make it a dance together…A sexy dance that is short and sweet. And until he requests the next song, please be free.