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Author: Luke

Wanderer, ponderer, cycler, adventurer. I suggest you read a few more blogs if you want to learn about me.

www.lukeollett.com

Going Dutch

The Dutch (people from Holland/Netherlands) I have always found to be interesting. Initially it was for the superficial reasons of their very open drug policies. But if you can avoid the temptations, and maintain a keen eye towards the very specific way in which they live their lives, there is something to behold that is worth absorbing. Granted, I have only visited three times, and in no way can I offer an accurate commentary. But I cannot do that even for places that I am extremely familiar with.

Pinching a Loaf

Here in England, it is common language to use the word ‘pinch’ meaning to steal. So it was quite natural to see the twisted looks of confusion on my cousins faces as I described to them the term ‘pinching a loaf’. If you have not heard of this term, it means to take a poop. Get it? None the less, this conversation reminded me of a time in high school that needs to be documented, of a video we made where I truly pinched a loaf in all understandings of the word.

Why Halloween has Failed in England

Of all the holidays, Halloween is my favorite. Without a question. I think that for many of those who read this, they would find Halloween to be at least in their top three holidays. It has all of the main components that people think of when trying to asses the quality of a holiday. As a youth you enjoy the candy and pumpkin carving. As a teenager you enjoy the race of going to every house in a five mile square radius. As a young adult you enjoy the sexy costumes that your female companions feel obliged to wear. As a parent you enjoy the candy your children gather for you as well as scaring the shit out of little kids that show up on your doorstep as you jump out of a dark corner with candy in your hands. It is a life long enjoyment that changes with the ages. However in England, the country trying so hard to emulate the United States, Halloween remains to be a major holiday and for this they will never attain their goal of becoming a global power.

Hired Assasin

How far are you willing to go to make a little extra cash? I have already talked about the very talented Thai girls who seem to be OK with (or are forced) to make some serious social and moral adjustments. I struggle to imagine the sums of money that would be needed for me to join those entertainers. But I am sure we can all think of some time when we have done something that we know we shouldn’t have done but since we had enough money pushed in our face, we went against our best judgement. I would love to hear your examples of doing just this but for now, it is my turn. This is the story of how I killed my best friends hamster for $5.

One of the Stupidest Things I Have Ever Done

Freshman year in university during the mandatory writing class, we were asked to write a short story. I was reading a lot of Hunter Thompson at the time and decided to try my luck at the great writer’s gonzo style. I decided to write about a true life experience that had happened right before this assignment. My marks were dismal, and what I thought to be an entertaining story, was ridiculed by the class and the teacher (who didn’t wear shoes). I struggled, apparently, with the form and function of my writing style which was the last thing on my mind as I wrote the story. Even my good friend Pat sent me to the ground with his critique and I must admit that at this point in my life I had decided that writing was not my thing and I should stick to the nerd world. (Funny enough, as well as Pat and I get along, I still think he hates my blogs, but that is another entry.) So now, in blog form, is the story of one of the stupidest things I have ever done. There will be no pictures unfortunately, probably for the better of everyone involved. I will not use the real names of the people to protect them even though I doubt they read this blog.

Cycling in Britain: Riding the White Wash

I absolutely adore aggressive city cycling. I am not talking about the usual getting from point A to point B, although that is the main objective for me. I am talking about a heart pounding, flat out effort across town running every red light you can findIMG_5230.JPG, even red lights that you do not have to go through. A balls to the wall sprint with your head band on to keep the sweat out of the eyes. Malicious pedals dragging on small dogs as you go the opposite direction on the side walks to avoid a particularly heavy chunk of road traffic. Simply, whatever it takes to beat your cousin going from South West London to central North in Camden. I have mentioned in the past my love of the Argentine system for making sure that this would not even be a contest. Well London is a little different and let me explain.

My Thoughts On Language Learning

hoghillcrash.jpgI grew up in Southern California. Current statistics show that the majority of inhabitants in this part of the world speak Spanish before they speak English. In high school, all students are required to take some form of language learning and I chose Spanish being the practical minded person that I was. However, I treated Spanish with the same sort of attention I have been giving my latest cycling injury, couldn’t care less. My worst grades were in Spanish. I can remember Mrs. Contreras calling on me always right when I was in the middle of goofing off with Matt Comeux, and I would always respond with a barely intelligible combination of badly ordered pronouns and horribly conjugated verbs. In university I avoided further Spanish training by taking a multi-cultural class which taught me all sorts about seven different religions, but no language. But then 18 months ago I decided that it was absolutely critical for me to learn a new language to move forward on my quest of becoming a renaissance man.

Turkish Travel Blog

From Argentina, I went to California for two weeks thinking that was enough time to settle my life in that continent before heading off to England. The complexities of “settling my life” in that continent will be saved for another entry. Two days after arriving in England, I boarded a plane to Istanbul. In Istanbul I had enough time to buy a bottle of fine tequila and then get on another plane for Izmir where my good friend and fellow blog author is currently living. I spent two weeks in Turkey with three days on some Greek islands where I learned about the intense problem of middle eastern immigrants trying to get into Europe and the idea that certain generations of people just simply hate each other regardless of any sort of reason. But I will not pass judgement on some of the things that they had to go through. Charles was a fantastic host as always and a play by play of the trip should be given to give him full respect but instead I will go through a tattered page of my journal that I found with a bullet point list of things I needed to remember. In order as I wrote them and to the best of my memory.

My Thoughts on Leg Shaving

I have the second to last race of the regular season in about 3.5 hours and one of the major sponsors of our team is going to be there. I need 22 more points to move to the category 2 level and to be honest, I am pretty freaking excited. Category 2 was described to me by a friend in California as the point when the only way to do better is to start taking drugs. No drugs yet but this sponsor does load me up on protein shake which I guzzle down regularly so I feel obligated to show my respects. Pre race preparation involves me standing naked in my shower and shaving almost all of the hair off my body. I particularly enjoy this to be honest but I get a lot of people doubting my methods and habits. So here is my reply.