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My First Days at University of California, Irvine

Published by Luke on March 20, 2010

I do not like to suggest to people how they should live their life nor do I go out of my way to tell others that they are doing things wrong or they could be done better. Listen to this if you want some suggestions. One thing I do press on many people, however, is to be educated and this cannot be accomplished any easier than by going to university after high school. It doesn’t matter what your chosen field of study is, just go. Whilst rummaging through my Grandfather’s house in England, I encountered an email I had written to my family in England shortly after I had begun my days at University. Below is the word for word transcription of what I was learning…

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I Liked Their Early Stuff Better

Published by dustin on March 13, 2010

I want to talk about something that’s plagued mankind for centuries, (well, decades at least). “Selling out”. One can “sell out” in many aspects but I’d like to focus mainly on music. To many music fans this is probably something you don’t think or even care much about. If most of the music you listen to is just whatever you happen to hear on the radio… one, I feel sorry for you, and two, you may not understand why this is such a big deal. What i will try to explain here is how heartbreaking and excruciating it can be when a band or artist “Sells out”.

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The Time I Made Out With my Friend’s Ex-Girlfriend

Published by DEWA69 on March 2, 2010

He wasn’t taking the break up well and we were all suffering the consequences. “No Black!”  He shouted over everyone’s conversation at the table, referring to the beans in the burrito he had just ordered, obviously. My face turned bright red. If it wasn’t already colorful from the day of sun and drinking I had just had, the waiter might have noticed how embarrassed I was.  I quickly realized I wasn’t alone when I caught eyes with everyone sitting near me. Everyone but Scott, of course, who continued to casually look through the drink menu, oblivious to what had just happened. He flipped through the pages and muttered inaudible thoughts to himself.  “You might want to be a little more careful with your choice of words, especially around the only black waiter in the restaurant,” Chris whispered as soon as the man was out of sight. Scott turned another page in the drink menu and ignored his friend’s advice by using a defense only drunk people and children practice known as “selective hearing”. I made a mental note to tip our server extra.

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My 4th Grade Valentine

Published by DEWA69 on February 12, 2010

It has to be sweet and sincere. Something that says “I like you” but not in a creepy, looked-up-your-address-on-the-teacher’s-class-roll-list-and-stalk-you-on-the-weekends, kind of way. Trying to sum up your feelings over the past 3 years on a tiny candy heart is not an easy task. I grabbed another handful and laid them out on the table, attempting to find the best ones to put in K.H.’s card.

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K.H.

Published by DEWA69 on December 28, 2009

Her name was Kelly Hensler, but we called her K.H. My progress over the years with her could be described as dismal at best. In first grade, I threw powdered chalk in her best friend’s eyes. K.H. turned to me and shouted “What did you do that for!?” then followed her friend into the bathroom. In second grade, I asked her if she wanted to see me make my face turn red. I breathed heavily for a minute, then let out all the air in my lungs. I put my arms around my neck and strained all the muscles in my body as hard as I could. I think this made me pass out because when I got up from the floor, she was in a casual conversation with a friend and it seemed like a considerable amount of time had passed. In 3rd grade, I stood right behind her in the ragtag choir our class had assembled for the annual school play. In rehearsal I thought it was funny to sing not just the boys part, but also the girls, with a much higher pitch voice. She turned around and glared at me when I did this.

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No Man Left Behind

Published by DEWA69 on December 20, 2009

“Do you want anything to eat?” my dad asked as I walked into the kitchen at 7:30 a.m., still half asleep. “No thanks,” I answered as I took off my Dodgers hat. I decided not to wear it since it might be a conversation starter. “No Man Left Behind” was the name of the mens Christian conference I had agreed to go to with my dad. He had shown me the flyer a few weeks before and asked me if I wanted to go with him. “I would really appreciate it if you could come,” he said in a way that sounded like it had been rehearsed a few times. I thought about it for a week and then said yes.

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Vote Luke for Supreme Leader

Published by Luke on December 15, 2009

It was that time of year again at Simi Valley High School to prove who was the most popular and well liked. Student body elections. I do not think there is a need to go into great detail of how this process works as it has been done by almost every teenage TV show and it has definitely been done by “Saved by the Bell” at least five times, including the “college years” period of that influential TV show. In brief, these elections allow the student body to elect fellow students to facilitate as puppets and spies for the faculty so the proletariat (students) do not start thinking they have no control over their schooling. To be president does not give you any power other than saying you are president and you can put it on your university applications. This time of year irritated me and something had to be done to illustrate the ridiculousness of it all. So I concocted a plan.

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